Porn is love you can see.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
