her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
