Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
