It's Friday. Sex?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
