PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
