Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
