also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
