I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
