hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Randomize
