PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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