A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
