If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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