she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
