VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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