Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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