whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I did not marry a roomba.
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