Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
