Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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