I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Im part way to drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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