The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
