I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
