Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
