Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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