Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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