Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
