East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
