Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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