why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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