My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
