Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it glows. i had to have it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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