don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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