I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
