she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
