i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
