I feel great
I just peed on a car
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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