Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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