I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
