It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just forgot I was standing up.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
