My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
