I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
