I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Non-Jews are for practice
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
