Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
