Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
why is half of my head shaved?
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