she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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