and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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