Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
