I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
