did you get engaged???
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
