That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
