Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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